难得的清闲。。。。

Sometimes I want try to using English in my blog, but I never successful in this because of my poor English language. Some more I think that using English is very hard for me to describe my feeling or the situation that happened. Actually I think that my main problem in this is because of my poor usage of the vocabulary.Today actually is my second try since I write my blog, haha. (I been trying it before long long time ago, but it is just a short passage only.) I think there must be many wrong tenses and vocabulary used in this little short post. Sometimes I really wonder how I going to take my MUET speaking test with such poor English?? Even the summary, reading comprehension, essay and my listening is not good enough. Is really hard for me to imagine how will my result be when I take it next year?? I really scared to think even. I really don’t want see my result that might be only band 3 or only 2. This is not a good result. Moreover, I want to study actuarial science in the future. Actuarial science is a very difficult subject to study even your English language is good, what m I to study such difficult subject since my English is so poor?? I really don’t know, but I just can’t give up my dream like a sucks like this. The speaking test is only stand for 2 minutes, but I have to worry about it for about half year, is really thinking too much I told myself every time I think about this such nonsense thing. Last Thursday, during calvin’s class, I told yu min that lets us try to do the speaking test at end of this August, but she told me that she scared that will be scolded by calvin. Actually I also very scared, but what can I do?? If we never think to have a first time trying, we won’t never get our first chance to stepping out our first steps.
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
今天，是蛮轻松的一天。。。。难得有机会让我睡得那么迟才起来。。。哈哈。。。后来，就去洗车和摩托了。。。。好久没洗了，车和摩托都很肮脏，不洗根本就不行。。。。洗好了，也两点了。。。。吃过东西后，没事做了。今天，我很享受及珍惜这种难得的清闲。。。。现在，不要讲清闲，想要好好的睡上一个好觉也很难。每天就是睡眠不足。。。。。可是，在这种忙碌的生活中，我真的发现到，当你很努力的去做一件事时，那种享受过程的感觉和事成后的满足感就是纾结心里的压力的最好良药。近来，大家的压力真的很大，每个人都是眼睛黑黑的，没什么精神的，还得担心这做不好，那个不会，不明白的，真的觉得大家都很辛苦。看见每个人都是整天浸在书中，不然就是纸中做功课，还有读书，我真的觉得很辛苦，我们为的，也不过是个好成绩，进入好的大学而已。我想，当stpm考完的时候，大家都会感觉到肩膀上的重担都不见了，都轻松去了吧！那时候，一定很爽。
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
你们没看见，并不代表没有，我有没有压力，我自己很清楚，不要再一味的觉得我读书读得很轻松。。。。因为，我辛苦的时候你们没看见，也没亲身体验过。。。不要再拿那些什么你养我，供我读书就是很大“力”的事情来压我，因为，你这样做并不是在鼓励我还是在激励我，其实，你是在给我压力，课业上的压力，已把我压的喘不气了，请不要再火上加油，这样，你只是在我们原本已离得很远的关系上加阔那个鸿沟而已。还有就是不要一味的觉得你就是永远对的，因为，在这世上，不会有人永远是对的，也不会有十全十美的人！！！！
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
我想，我要换电脑了啦！！！这个stupid电脑，做什么都不行，让人很生气的呃！！！又整天hang，起死人了！！！要赶快趁这次的pc fair换上一个新。。。。哈哈。。。。
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
感觉上，好了很多，也变了好多。。。。
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
我们之间，是不是又越离越远了呢？？？？我真的希望不是，因为，我们要走到今天这样真的很不容易，我不想这得来不易的一切就这样没了。。。。。
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
有时候口头上的遗忘，是内心里的等待。。。