hate

a free day before i get busy tomorrow.
only got 1 lecture class and 1 lab today...
they will take me 3 hours in the afternoon.
but tomorrow my class will be damn full....
will have a calculus test on this coming Thursday....totally have no confidence on it....
my maths become damn bad as i come into university.
I cannot answer questions and forget all the technics....
I really don't know what's wrong with me....I cannot do my maths well....
used the method my buddy taught me, learn by memorizing
damn it!!! I hate myself like that, it suppose not like that.....I hate to learn maths in this way.
this is the damn wrong way to learn maths...suppose is understanding but not memorizing!
but the test is damn near and I have to wait for my f6 notes to be here for me.I had no choice.
this is the 1st time in my life since I study maths, i use memorizing way to do maths.
damn it la!
I really hate myself like that.